All of life is a journey; which paths we take, what we look back on, and what we look forward to is up to us. We determine our destination, what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there.



Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Oh the power of the spoken word


Ok, I may not be speaking of the same spoken word you are, but there is power in language. Communication is key to building relationships, working together and promoting change. Mark Twain once said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment." So to back up for a second, I decided to accept a second very part time, temporary job in Small Town X. I was asked by a graduate school friend of mine if I would be interested in helping facilitate a family relations group in the area. It sounded like a fantastic opportunity to do something new and different, and practice some skills that had gone rusty with time and lack of use. So I gladly accepted and learned what this group was about. This is the basic format:
The families come and we have dinner together each night the group meets. Then the kids go into one group with fun activities and a lesson on communication (ex: saying nice things vs. mean things, interrupting, expressing needs, etc.) while the adults hold another group to talk about positive talk and reinforcing good behaviors. The focus is to praise the kids for the things they are doing right and see those behaviors increase. Then the two groups come together and do an activity and allow the parents to practice these skills. At first I was a little skeptical about how much change could really come from a few positive words about playing and observations. But after the first night I was a BELIEVER! The kids came in like a hurricane and there was chaos. But after the parents practiced some positive praise and focused on the good behaviors, those behaviors increased immediately. When the kids wanted to share, hands were raised. When they played games, there was sharing among peers. It was incredible. The best part about this program, the praise works both directions. The second night one of the kids grabbed me and whispered, "I have to tell you a secret! You are my favorite teacher." Oh man, did that light me up. I felt so touched, and so grateful for the chance to do this.
I just kept thinking how some things just don't change with age. Whether you are 9 or 99, Mark Twain was right, words stick with us, they change us. And the power is unmistakable. Words have changed the course of history, they have changed groups of people and beliefs, but most importantly they have each one of us as individuals. The hardest part is allowing the words of encouragement and love to overpower the words of discouragement and unkindness. So here is to the love of a child, and the power one little sentence can bring.

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